The Truth Will Make or Break You

I am an honest person. I cannot stand lying. I am a horrible liar.

I struggle to even tell a friend ‘That shirt is so cute!’ when it is the most hideous thing I have ever seen.

I have kept a lot of my truths under lock and key because of fear. I have feared judgment, abandonment, and confusion. I have feared saying my truths and upsetting those in my life.

I will no longer be that person.  Continue reading “The Truth Will Make or Break You”

Heartbreak Is Silent

You have lived for so long as a broken thing, always searching elsewhere for the fix. You put the pieces of your heart in his hands, trusting that he would help put them back together. You learned the hard way that the only true fix comes from within. Continue reading “Heartbreak Is Silent”

F*ck You Negative Nancy

I’ve been on the struggle bus for far too long. I don’t have answers. I only have more issues.

I’m surrounded by negativity and stress. Inside my head it’s even worse. I recently discovered that my body basically hates me at a certain point in my menstrual cycle and that causes my mind to go crazy. And I’ll have you know that this issue is considered a mental illness. Kinda crazy in itself.

So, I’ve been struggling; beep beep! Continue reading “F*ck You Negative Nancy”

Don’t Mind Me

Something is wrong. I cannot find joy or peace or relief, and when I do, it’s hard to believe in it.

I type an entire page with words. And then I delete the whole thing. Because I don’t feel like it matters anyways.

Continue reading “Don’t Mind Me”

She Burns

The pain ignites setting ablaze my insides

There is fire in my eyes and I breath flames

I hug my knees to my chest, just say goodbye

This inferno won’t be tamed, I can’t be saved

Night becomes day and still I rage

There is so much hurt in my heart and a lot of shit to say

But these words are locked in a cage

No key, only a strong breeze fueling this bad energy

I love you, I hate you, come here, leave me be!

I’m struggling and stressing, trying to learn this lesson

Faith and hope are slipping, the light is missing

I’m running and hiding and fighting and dying

I’m burning and crying, I’m blind but I’m trying

I’m choking on smoke and bleeding from the fire, I’m tired.

So tired.

Picture From: https://www.pinterest.com/arrantzy/the-girl-on-fire/

Anger Has Arrived

I haven’t been myself lately. But then again, who am I anyways?

This year has been hell from the very start. It’s been almost a month since I’ve processed any feelings. I’ve been walking around apathetic with bursts here and there of emotion. But that is all beginning to end and the feelings are coming at me strong.

Right now, I am angry. Fuck being tired and sad. Fuck being misunderstood. Fuck being used and judged. Fuck being walked all over and then forgotten. Continue reading “Anger Has Arrived”

Sunshine And Rainbows

What do you do when you have no desire to do anything?

What is the point of waking up to an alarm every day only to get up and get dressed and get in the car to drive to work? Yeah, I know, there are bills to pay and responsibilities to take care of. But what is the point?

I get into a car I don’t want, because it is necessary to get to work.

I go to a job I do not like, because it is necessary to pay the bills.

And it is an endless cycle. Continue reading “Sunshine And Rainbows”