Am I paralyzed, emotionally? Or do I finally have a clear head?
Is this real life right now? Did this actually happen to me?
My anxiety is playing with me. I’m struggling to focus but I cannot be still. I’m forced to make a lot of extremely gut-wrenching and heart shattering decisions.
I’m holding it together, though. I’m making it day by day. I’m exhausted and I’m restless.
I’ve got a lot of gratitude. I’ve got a bitter sweet feeling. So many things are so backwards and unusual and it’s a lot of change all at once. I want to rewind time and settle into the bliss of ignorance.
But I know I have to keep pushing forward. I recently learned the extremely hard way that I am important and I have worth. I demand to be treated in a way that equals my self-worth.
I know I’ll be alright. One day I’ll turn around and it won’t hurt to look back. One day I’ll trust again.
It’s going to take a lot of hard work to get to that day. It’s going to take feeling a whirlwind of hurt and rising out of it to a solid foundation that I build myself.
It’s amazing and insane the way things fall apart, so hard and so sudden, and at the same time things are falling together, blessings in disguise.
For more, follow me on Facebook at Ehh, whatever!