Music speaks to my soul. It sets me free. It calms me down. It pumps me up. It makes me wonder. It makes me think. It makes me feel. Music is a part of me.
Music has pulled me out of many dark places. Music has encouraged me to face my fears. Music has comforted me. Music has cheered me on. Music has helped me meditate. Music has helped me plan and process.
I find it very hard to have favorites, of anything. I do not have a favorite color, book, or movie. I do not have a favorite genre, type, or style. But there is one song I will always come back to:
Your Hand in Mine by Explosions in the Sky
This song and I go way back. I have many memories with this song. This song has given me hope when I was lost. This song has filled me with purpose when I had doubts. This song has shown me the light when I felt so stuck in the dark. This song makes me cry. It makes me laugh. It causes me to feel everything at once.
This song is everything to me.
I hear this song and, always, I think of my late Aunt Josie. My mom and dad, two brothers, and two sisters all piled into our vehicle and drove to Tennessee for a visit with my aunt and her family. She was sick. It was a dire situation. We spent the weekend there and went home. My mom went back or stayed behind. I cannot remember which. She watched as her sister passed away.
When we were traveling back after her funeral, I heard this song for the first time. I listened to it and felt every emotion possible as I sat staring through the window at the changing scenery that flew past me. I recall questioning everything. I had never experienced a loss this close to home.
I was so young it seems. Around the same time as my aunts passing, I was beginning to cut myself at home. It was a very strenuous and emotional time in my life. But I heard this song and my hope and faith was once again ignited. I turned to this song often in my teenage years.
I listened to this song when my head was full of questions but I did not know where to find the answers. I turned to this song when I felt trepidation at a task ahead of me. I turned to this song when I was excited and pumped up with adrenaline. I turned to this song when I was so emotionally confused, walking alone at night.
This song is my savior.
Since the time I first heard this song, I have said this is the song I wish to have played at my funeral services. This is the song I want to be remembered by. I use this song as a form of therapy.
I play many different songs for my many different moods. I listen to music a lot. All kinds of different music. This song, above all the rest, will forever remain my number one. This song will always be there for me.
Do you have a song you rely on? Do you use music as a tool for therapy?
P.S. If you haven’t thought about it yet, definitely look up the song and give it a listen! Ya never know, might just change your life!
Picture from: http://more-sky.com/group/black-sky-wallpaper/