Tonight is almost like deja vu. I swear I’ve been here before.
Only, things are different, just slightly.
Tonight, it is me in place of where my dad used to be.
Tonight, it is my kids in place of where I used to be.
Tonight, it is whiskey, no chaser.
Tonight, it is stereo blasting.
Everything is up in the air and I feel out of control. I am a fixer and a fighter. I do not give up easily.But I cannot seem to fix this and I am fighting all the wrong battles. I am trying to escape my childhood, yet, tonight I have become my childhood. Discovering who I am and what I stand for is tough.
But I am not a quitter. I will figure myself out. I will build healthy boundaries. I will express myself creatively. I will not allow things to fester. I will figure out my own feelings and take ownership of them.
Painstakingly slowly I am figuring out who I am as an individual without outside influence from anyone.
Tonight is just another hurdle I have to overcome. Afterall, I have three (+2) mini-me’s looking up to me.
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Picture from: http://lucanii01.deviantart.com/art/Mental-Chaos-522076004