Hello Chaos, My Old Friend.

Tonight is almost like deja vu. I swear I’ve been here before.

Only, things are different, just slightly.

Tonight, it is me in place of where my dad used to be.

Tonight, it is my kids in place of where I used to be.

Tonight, it is whiskey, no chaser.

Tonight, it is stereo blasting.

Everything is up in the air and I feel out of control. I am a fixer and a fighter. I do not give up easily.But I cannot seem to fix this and I am fighting all the wrong battles. I am trying to escape my childhood, yet, tonight I have become my childhood. Discovering who I am and what I stand for is tough.

But I am not a quitter. I will figure myself out. I will build healthy boundaries. I will express myself creatively. I will not allow things to fester. I will figure out my own feelings and take ownership of them.

Painstakingly slowly I am figuring out who I am as an individual without outside influence from anyone.

Tonight is just another hurdle I have to overcome. Afterall, I have three (+2) mini-me’s looking up to me.

Picture from: http://lucanii01.deviantart.com/art/Mental-Chaos-522076004

Advertisements

Author: Krystal Joy

Just a mom of many forging my way in this world seeking balance. Peace/Love/Happiness.

1 thought on “Hello Chaos, My Old Friend.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s