Well, I am up past my bedtime tonight. Who am I kidding? My sleep schedule has been thrown to the wind lately. Tonight has been one of those ‘beat myself up’ kind of nights. Of course, I am my biggest critic. Tonight is also one of those nights where I over think things and read too deeply.
Sometimes, I cannot help it. You see, not long ago, I realized I am an empath. What is that, you say? Good question. Google it. There really is a ton of interesting things to read about it. But to shorten things, I can feel other peoples emotions as if they were my own.
Say WHAAAAT? No, I do not mean sympathy. And no, I am not an expert. This is all so new to me and it still blows my mind that I have found something that fits me so completely. It helps me to understand a lot of things I did, felt, said when I was growing up. You might think its whacky and that is okay. But my life has begun changing since the day I found out what an empath is.
Sometimes I wonder WTF? Other times I’m rockin’ the empath shit. But the truth is that I am clueless. I do not have a hold on the whole empath thing just yet. I haven’t figured out how to tell the difference between what is me and what is not. That sounds funny, huh?
I am indeed on a journey of self-discovery. An awakening. And it is hard. It is awesome. It is confusing. It is mystical. I am an INFJ. I am an indigo child. I am an empath. And some may read this and think I’m certifiably insane. But I am delving deeper. I am becoming more aware. I am hunting down those negative thought processes and breaking them. Tonight just wasn’t a very progressive night.
And I am reminded of how easy it is to fall into negativity. I am reminded of how easy it is to get swept up in the tide of emotions and not stop to process them. I am brought to wonder how much of what is inside of me is actually mine?
I am a wanderer. I am a seeker. And I have questions, lots of questions. Tonight was just one of those nights that has me terrified of the answers.
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Photo taken from: http://wallup.net/nature-1511/